Boot camp and bleep test

What a weekend. Is it legal to knacker someone out so much? especially someone like me, as in over 20, err 30, er well....oh never mind, the point is, it shouldn't be!

I set myself a few challenges for this year and last weekend was the beginning of one; Boot camp. I can honestly say, and this comes from someone who has experienced working in an inner city A and E dept on a friday and saturday night shift, that I have never been so knackered in my entire life; a new level of knackeredness. Sleep deprivation and food deprivation followed by a fitness test is, quite simply, a recipe for true exhaustion, for someone like me anyway.

Having had virtually no sleep, missing two main meals, travelling for two hours in convoy and then lugging two massive rucksacks to our 'rooms', we were to report immediately at the gym for the fitness test. First we had the bleep test which is a shuttle run of 20 metres in length, a pre-recorded tape tells you what level you are on and bleeps to let you know when to start running. You have to reach the 20 metre line before the next bleep and then you have to run back to the baseline from where you started before the next bleep. If you can't reach the line before the bleep sounds you are eliminated from the test and take the score that is currently announced on the tape. You start off at a very gentle jog, and gradually work up. Each level comprises of 10 shuttles, so it goes; level (1.1)-(1.2)-(1.3)etc. and then level (2.1)-(2.2)-(2.3)and so on.

Once I got to level 7, it started to get hard work and by 8.4 I was running out of puff....to pass the test you have to reach a certain level depending on sex and age, and you can pass satisfactorily, good, very good or excellent, of course there is also fail. At 8.4, I knew I had passed at a reasonable level. I also knew that whatever my score was it had to be improved upon in September, so I decided to stop even though there was a little left in the tank, just. Lame? probably, cunning? definitely

Next were the press ups and sit ups. I have had to concentrate on those of late due to recent running injuries, I did pretty well and was pleased with my overall scores which were; good pass in the shuttle run, very good in the sit ups and excellent in the press ups...well chuffed....and still room for improvement in September.

We were given 15 minutes to get showered, dressed and in the classroom for lectures, missing lunch AGAIN. In the women's changing rooms there were 2 showers between 15 of us....brings a new definition to 'douche rapide' I can tell you.

By the time we had finished lectures and managed to hitch a lift to the canteen (5 minutes before it closed), I was ravenous, and not knowing when my next meal was going to come from, I ate double portions of roast dinner and a massive bowl of rhubarb crumble & custard followed by cheesecake. I couldn't tell you if it was any good or not as I ate it so quickly, it was more a case of fuel not food.

When we got back to our rooms we were absolutely exhausted, but had beds to make and things to iron to perfection for a 7am inspection the next day. Some couldn't face the early morning rush and after spending ages ironing creases in and ironing creases out of various bits and pieces, they then spent hours practicing the art of bed making only to end up sleeping on the floor on-looking their perfectly made up beds. Stupid? I thought so.....at the time anyway. Having made thousands of beds with 'hospital corners' in my time, I easily persuaded my knackered room mate we didn't need to worry and would get up a just bit earlier to give us enough time to get the room clean & get the beds made to expected standard, which of course would be a doddle.........the inspection came and the inspection went...all I have to say on the matter is this; some clever fellow invented self-cleaning metal which, very sensibly, the military embraced and now have self-cleaning metal berret badges, instead of the brass ones that took hours to polish and shine. Where is the clever chap/chapess to invent a bed in a can? one squirt and you have a ready made bed complete with perfect hospital corners. Quick, simple and smart....and my bedding wouldn't have ended up out of the window.

Fitness test = carpet burns?

Having managed the Race For Life on Sunday without any subsequent achilles pain I'm feeling more optimistic, and last night managed a comfortable 4 miler around the Downs leaving a only a very slight twinge. I may have to leave it at that this week as I have a fitness test over the weekend which involves a run and a beep test. The fitness test also involves 50 sit ups in 60 secs and 20 press ups in 60 secs (oh and full press ups not girly crossed legs ones). I was concerned about these but since my running has had to take a back seat whilst old achilles fixed itself, I am easily on track with the core strength stuff and as the achilles are improving I reckon I'll do ok. Of course there is one little problem....

Two nights ago I did my sit ups in loose linen trousers, L was sat on my feet timing me. When I finished I noticed a stinging/burning pain on my but tocks (forrest gump stlye). My trousers had rubbed my skin and I now have something resembling carpet burns at the top and in the crack (ahem) of my bum......looks like I've had a jolly good old time!....not quite.

Bristol Race For Life, 2009 (Sunday)

14,000 women and girls took part in the Race For Life, Bristol 2009. My plan wasn't to go for a good time it was to run with friends, L and along with her 5 pals too, all aged 13. Last year I managed to coax L and K (both 12 years old at the time) to run the whole thing without walking, this year L was not taking any chances and point blank refused to run with me.

It's a funny thing RACE for life, clearly it's not a race. Su and I joined the lane for runners (there's one for walkers)and it took 4 mins 30 secs before we got across the start line. Then there is the weaving around rows of chatting ladies (usually in pink and wearing fairy wings; haven't worked out the association with the later) and worse of all are the people who just suddenly stop! after 0.1 of a km and this makes me trip over them, and I start to get hacked off with being tripped up. Elbows out.

After about two miles of getting hacked off with tripping over people stopping to answer mobile phones, take a breather or whatever, we bumped into K, one of L's mates, who had made a break for it in an attempt to be the winner of the 5 pals. I went on a bit and realised I'd lost Su, who had done the grown up, adult thing and noticed K needed a little tlc. So I carried on to the end and wasn't unhappy with the 30 mins showing as I crossed the finish line. If you take off the 4.30 it took to get to the start line that makes 5k in 25mins 30 secs, if you take off the weaving and trip ups even less....then again if I had kept my elbows to myself it would have been more, so it kind of evens out. Not the best for an accurate time but after all it's taking part that counts and raising money for Cancer research UK.

Turf and Tarmac

To try out my achilles, Su and I did a gentle 4 last night; a mixture of turf and tar. Even though I've been dogged with injury of late I'm also preferring to run on pavement, which is unusual for me (except when faced with the Hencliff Project). I think the man at Moti must be a wizard; when I bought my Mizuno's he told me they had 'good contact with the road' (man) and my physche obviously belives it...even though logic would tell me I've had more injury road running than off road, well apart from when I nearly fell into the river Avon.

The good news is that my achilles, whilst definitly not back to tip top, certainly isn't any worse, though I did spend 1/2 hour massaging it whilst biting a pillow before and after we went. Damn that Apollo or Paris or whatever his name was.

Tired of tendonitis

It has been some weeks since I injured my right achilles tendon and I'm honestly pretty fed up about it all now (any suggestions welcome). I was making some headway but a weekend sight seeing in Istanbul was enough to set it all off again. The problem is that I don't believe in denying myself and so the inevitable is starting to slowly happen. This is bad as I don't want to end up as big as a bull.

I know I'm relatively small in comparison to an elephant, but I am also aware that the amount of Saint Agur cheese I eat, the amount of wine I drink and the amount of chocolate I eat, I have to keep an eye on things.

I also have a residential weekend coming up which incorporates a compulsory fitness test. The good thing there is that I can do 20 full press-ups and 50 sit-up's in the alloted time, it's just the beep test and run I'm concerned about.....ironic really when 2 months ago I felt the runs would be a doddle and the press-up were going to be the struggle.

I am about to set off for a gentle run around the down's with Su and L, the latter having to be cajoled before she does the race for life on Sunday (though managed admirably last week)....top tip; remember if you ever take a teenager for a jog, take jelly babies and use them as an incentive to encourage said teen to make each kilometer without stopping.

We will see how the achilles fairs....I am concerned as although it's not agony, just an ache, it looks swollen and feels sort of mushy and grainy to touch, AND I cannot find the very tall, very fit, very hansom, very fit ,very tall phyio in work so I'll have to make do with my own strapping. Not exactly stylish.

It's a knockout

Yes, I'm afraid so. It's a knockout. A very good pal of mine, who works for a big corporate bank, asked me to fill the shoes of someone very sensible who had dropped out of a team for an it's a knockout charity thingy. That particular person had obviously read the weather forecast....rain, wind and cold. I am simply too knackered to write about it. And yes, the pic is of said 'very good pal of mine' hauling me so hard over the inflatable that I took off!

Road rage and jogging

Last week, whilst driving home from a hospital appointment, I witnessed a bit of a fracas which has left me in a quandary, see what you think....

I was third in a row of cars approaching a roundabout, the front vehicle was a VW and the one sandwiched between myself and the VW was a Ford. As the row of traffic slowly pulled up towards the roundabout, a very noticable female jogger in bright pink appropriately attempted to cross the road infront of the Ford. Unbelievably (though all was to be revealed) the driver didn't notice her until last minute and only managed to avoid a nasty accident by swerving in the road. The lady threw a dirty look and jogged on blissfully unaware of the commotion about to start....

The VW stopped immediately causing us all to have to do the same, the guy driving leant out of his window and shouted at the top of his voice whilst pointing at the Ford driver "OH YOU!, GET OFF THE F**KING PHONE, YOU F**KING DI*KHEAD, YOU F**KING NEARLY RAN THAT WOMAN OVER YOU F**KING PIECE OF SH*T, WHO THE F**K DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" I could see the Ford driver jesticulate to suggest he hadn't done anything wrong...BIG mistake!. By this time I had worked out that in the Ford was a lone guy driver but in the VW were three burley blokes...the VW driver continued; "YES YOU F**KING WERE, YOU DI*KHEAD, DON'T YOU F**KING LIE, WE SAW YOU ON THE PHONE, THAT'S WHY YOU NEARLY KILLED SOMEONE, YOU F**KING DI*KHEAD. By now I was reading, re-reading and re-reading the street signs in an attempt not to make too much eye contact (whilst having half an eye out incase I needed to phone the police)...then the passenger of the VW got out and marched up to the Ford driver's window (now I was running the scenario through my mind about which outfit I'd wear in court), he got right up to the window "YOU F**KING D*CK, HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLE, YOU AR*EH*LE" then he got back in the car and they drove off. Job done.

So here I am feeling a slight sense of warmth knowing there are people out there watching out for fellow joggers??...err however, easy on the aggression eh guys?