Boot camp and bleep test

What a weekend. Is it legal to knacker someone out so much? especially someone like me, as in over 20, err 30, er well....oh never mind, the point is, it shouldn't be!

I set myself a few challenges for this year and last weekend was the beginning of one; Boot camp. I can honestly say, and this comes from someone who has experienced working in an inner city A and E dept on a friday and saturday night shift, that I have never been so knackered in my entire life; a new level of knackeredness. Sleep deprivation and food deprivation followed by a fitness test is, quite simply, a recipe for true exhaustion, for someone like me anyway.

Having had virtually no sleep, missing two main meals, travelling for two hours in convoy and then lugging two massive rucksacks to our 'rooms', we were to report immediately at the gym for the fitness test. First we had the bleep test which is a shuttle run of 20 metres in length, a pre-recorded tape tells you what level you are on and bleeps to let you know when to start running. You have to reach the 20 metre line before the next bleep and then you have to run back to the baseline from where you started before the next bleep. If you can't reach the line before the bleep sounds you are eliminated from the test and take the score that is currently announced on the tape. You start off at a very gentle jog, and gradually work up. Each level comprises of 10 shuttles, so it goes; level (1.1)-(1.2)-(1.3)etc. and then level (2.1)-(2.2)-(2.3)and so on.

Once I got to level 7, it started to get hard work and by 8.4 I was running out of puff....to pass the test you have to reach a certain level depending on sex and age, and you can pass satisfactorily, good, very good or excellent, of course there is also fail. At 8.4, I knew I had passed at a reasonable level. I also knew that whatever my score was it had to be improved upon in September, so I decided to stop even though there was a little left in the tank, just. Lame? probably, cunning? definitely

Next were the press ups and sit ups. I have had to concentrate on those of late due to recent running injuries, I did pretty well and was pleased with my overall scores which were; good pass in the shuttle run, very good in the sit ups and excellent in the press ups...well chuffed....and still room for improvement in September.

We were given 15 minutes to get showered, dressed and in the classroom for lectures, missing lunch AGAIN. In the women's changing rooms there were 2 showers between 15 of us....brings a new definition to 'douche rapide' I can tell you.

By the time we had finished lectures and managed to hitch a lift to the canteen (5 minutes before it closed), I was ravenous, and not knowing when my next meal was going to come from, I ate double portions of roast dinner and a massive bowl of rhubarb crumble & custard followed by cheesecake. I couldn't tell you if it was any good or not as I ate it so quickly, it was more a case of fuel not food.

When we got back to our rooms we were absolutely exhausted, but had beds to make and things to iron to perfection for a 7am inspection the next day. Some couldn't face the early morning rush and after spending ages ironing creases in and ironing creases out of various bits and pieces, they then spent hours practicing the art of bed making only to end up sleeping on the floor on-looking their perfectly made up beds. Stupid? I thought so.....at the time anyway. Having made thousands of beds with 'hospital corners' in my time, I easily persuaded my knackered room mate we didn't need to worry and would get up a just bit earlier to give us enough time to get the room clean & get the beds made to expected standard, which of course would be a doddle.........the inspection came and the inspection went...all I have to say on the matter is this; some clever fellow invented self-cleaning metal which, very sensibly, the military embraced and now have self-cleaning metal berret badges, instead of the brass ones that took hours to polish and shine. Where is the clever chap/chapess to invent a bed in a can? one squirt and you have a ready made bed complete with perfect hospital corners. Quick, simple and smart....and my bedding wouldn't have ended up out of the window.